Anonymous said: I have a sense of how you'll respond to this, but maybe you'll surprise me! I've been in poly relationships for several years, but struggled in various ways. My current partner is amazing and gives the most I could hope for in terms of care & affection & time & reassurance- yet I'm having so much anxiety around a new sweetie of theirs. I know that polyamory is right for me, but I suck at it in some ways! If it's hard with a partner this fantastic, how am I ever going to cope well? Thanks Jenn!
Wait, did I write this post? Because I totally feel this way sometimes! Poly is hard. It often means facing things about yourself that are not you favorite parts.
It’s awesome that your partner is amazing. But nobody is perfect. It’s important to remember that because sometimes we beat ourselves up so much because we think we aren’t as good at something as someone else. Actually, we all approach new polyamorous situations with different sets of experiences, and that affects what feelings come up for us.
If you think your partner is being totally awesome in giving you the care you need to do poly, make sure to acknowledge that to them. I’ll bet your anxiety around this new sweetie doesn’t have too much to do with your partner. Make sure they know that too.
It sometimes helps me to talk out my anxiety, to understand where it’s coming from or what it’s about. You might want to do that with a trusted friend rather than your partner. Talking with someone else can help you figure out what things you actually need to work out with your partner and what things you just need support around. I always find the beginning of new polyamorous relationships to be a little stressful, whether I’m starting that relationship or my partner is. It’s helpful to remember that the way you feel right this second probably isn’t going to last.
Another thing to remember is that polyamory doesn’t work like a cookie cutter. Sometimes you need to change things up. If you usually talk frequently with your partner’s other sweeties, maybe take a break from that this time. If you usually try to avoid your partner’s other sweeties, ask if you can have a casual hang out with them. If there is something happening that is triggering the anxiety for you, see if it’s possible to do something else (without making unreasonably demands). Feel it out, and don’t do things just because you think it is what you are SUPPOSED to do. The only things you are supposed to do is be respectful of all the people involved, and communicate yourself clearly.
It sounds like you are committed to polyamory. That doesn’t mean it’s always going to be easy. Sometimes it’s going to feel like you suck at it. Be patient with yourself and with the other people involved in your relationship. You are doing great.
Props to my 6 year old self for calling out bullshit at an early age.
Anonymous said: these anons are like, "can i be racist in the rain? can i be racist on a train? can i be racist in a box? can i be racist with a fox?"
How can I be racist if I work with blacks
How can I be racist if one sold me slacks
I’m not racist I’m just like you. I’m best friends with a black or two.
i’m not racist, you see, it’s just a preference
i love eastern culture and its women’s deference
the west lost its way with no room for clemency
If I love Asian women, how’s that white supremacy?
i’m not a racist, i can’t be, you see
my great grandma’s grandma was part cherokee
plus one time i got called “cracker” to my face
don’t we all bleed red? i don’t even see race…
I’m not racist, blacks just need to stop complaining
Living in the past and white people blaming
I work hard, no handouts for every little fraction
If white privilege isn’t fair, then how is affirmative action?
Ernesto Bautista - Masses [Masas], 2009
Transparent lighter filled with blood
Photo reblogged from with 1,047 notes
NEW T-SHIRTS!!! “Harry Potter and the Cop Lit on Fire” screen-printed on black 100% cotton shirts. Available for mail order here! Limited 1st run so grab ‘em quick :-) **FTP!**
"Cops are just doing their job" always struck me as weird because it implies that somehow the fact that they are harassing, killing, and imprisoning people, enforcing institutional racism, and destroying communities is less morally reprehensible if they do it for money.
liquor before beer youre in the clear
a bottle of walgreens white wine before a bottle of walgreens red wine youre bound to have a good time
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